To Medicate or not to Medicate, that is the question

It has been such a roller coaster ride these past couple months. We had decided, after school personnel and in-home therapists commented on Noah's lack of attention, that we would try some medication typically administered to children with attention deficit disorder. But the Adderall we tried appeared to coincide with this aggression we had not seen before. Noah began hitting his head, stomping his feet, and yelling "No!" at us every time we placed a simple demand. These behaviors stopped when I decided, on my own, to discontinue the Adderall.

Then we went to see a pediatric psychiatrist to discuss other options. She gave great advice on vitamins, diet, etc. She also prescribed a new medication, typically given to children with attention deficit disorder. This one is called Vyvance and we were told it would not have the same side effect as the Adderall. Today marks one week that we have tried this medication, and I had to call the psychiatrist's office today to say we need to stop this one as well. Noah tantrumed for over 2 hours today. No one could comfort him. I have not seen him in this state before, and I hope to God I never will again. He hit his head repeatedly; so hard that he started to cry and say, "ouch". With tears in his eyes, Noah slammed everything within reach. He hit me, he hit a therapist. I truly believe he did not want to behave this way, but did not know what to do to stop.

I am actually hoping that the behavior we saw today is a side effect of the medication. That way, if I stop the medication, then the behavior will stop.

Finding the right balance between behavioral therapy and medicinal therapy is so exhausting. It is a very unsteady process, like walking a tight rope. And just when you think you have it figured out, the balance shifts.