Flipping vs. Flapping

Noah used to pick up books, DVD cases, or other flat rectangular objects to flip up and down in front of his eyes. This "flipping" seems to provide him with a calmness, or an ability to tolerate his surroundings. He tends to do it mostly when he is unsettled, or anxious. Because we did not want him to flip books and DVD cases, I created some flip cards out of cardboard and shiny wrapping paper. Noah likes these alot, and requests them often. This way, books can have the purpose they were made for....reading. "Flip time" is incorporated into Noah's schedule on an hourly basis (or more frequently) as a reward after work completion. This schedule has worked well until recently.

Noah has now started to flap his hands in front of his face, or on the side, when he does not have his flip card available. My question now is, do we provide more flip time to avoid this flapping? After all, a flip card can be taken away (much like a nuk), but a flapping hand cannot (much like a thumb). I don't want flapping to become a habit.

Sometimes, when you engage in a behavior for long enough, it goes from being a needed behavior to just being a habit. Is this flipping a habit? No. I don't think so. It seems to go deeper than that for Noah. He behaves like an addict does when the flip cards are taken away, but it is not an addiction. It appears to be a life line for him. He just cannot handle the noise, crowd (even 1 other person in the same room as him can be crowded for him), or anxiety.

We will just do our best to keep Noah occupied with other things to prevent the flapping from becoming ingrained. I hope the flipping will lessen as we get the anxiety under control. Until then, we just do our best....

The Little Sister

When Hannah was born in December, 2001, Noah became a big brother. As she developed into an energetic, playful toddler, Noah referred to her as, "The Little Sister." To say, "Hannah", he needed to be prompted by my husband or myself. Hannah is now an independent, beautiful 6 year old girl.

Knowing that Noah is developing at a slower rate than his peers, I knew that someday Hannah's skills would surpass his academic, social, and language skills. I wasn't prepared, however, for that day to come so soon. Hannah is now reading, comprehending, analyzing, and questioning beyond the skills of her older brother.

I am so proud of her when Hannah takes the lead in public, in a motherly way, and holds Noah's hand. She claimed just a week ago, "Don't worry, Mom, I'll help Noah." It dawned on me at that moment that without ever telling her that he required more assistance than she, that she had figured that out on her own. Her intuitiveness to his situation is amazing, and my heart soars with pride when I see her helping Noah. On the other hand, I fear for her future when my husband and I are gone. This is a huge responsibility for her to undertake, and I hope it does not become an obstacle to her future.

All parents worry about the their children. I quess we will be worrying about both our son and our daughter long into the future. I plan to embrace every step of the way.