The Calm after the Storm

I read the last two entries I created and was worried that some people reading this blog may think I am ready to jump off a bridge. Do Not Worry! Apparently it is easiest to blog when I need to vent.



Noah has shown wonderful improvement and progress over the last two weeks. The head hitting and banging occurs less than half the amount of time it was occurring a month ago. He has also demonstrated more interest in his toys lately. Before, he was just stimming with a flip card. I also do not need to prompt him as much as I had in the past. Now, when I say, "I love you", he says it back without further prompting. And I hear laughter in the house now. I sure did miss the laughter. Every home with children should have laughter.

We have a long road ahead. Additional foods will be eliminated from Noah's diet as we delve deeper into gluten, casein, and yeast free diet regiments. Medication may be altered. But at least we have found a path to follow. I think it will be a good one.

Thelma and Louise

This is difficult to admit, but there have been fleeting moments in time when I just want to get in a car and drive. Drive and not look back. Escape. When things were at their worst in our house, in the past few months, I have just wanted to leave.

Of course, any mother who has such thoughts then feels guilt. I shared these thoughts with a friend. Me and "K" first connected because her son also has autism. We started going to Autism Society meetings together, then started having dinner before those meetings, then doing things together as families. Our husbands get along, and so do the children. She also shared a time a few years back when she left for a day, just to escape her home too. The guilt I feel when I have those thoughts has not lessened, but I at least feel as if they may be normal in my circumstances.

I think back to the movie Thelma and Louise, where two friends "escaped" their lives by just driving. I envy the freedom they had(of course, I would never engage in any of the illegal activity!). In the end, Thelma and Louise permanently "checked out" and never went back. I, on the other hand, cannot fathom actually leaving. Even when things are at their worst, there is always hope. Thelma and Louise did not believe that. They thought there was no way out. My storms will pass, and the rainbow will be worth it all.