Thelma and Louise

This is difficult to admit, but there have been fleeting moments in time when I just want to get in a car and drive. Drive and not look back. Escape. When things were at their worst in our house, in the past few months, I have just wanted to leave.

Of course, any mother who has such thoughts then feels guilt. I shared these thoughts with a friend. Me and "K" first connected because her son also has autism. We started going to Autism Society meetings together, then started having dinner before those meetings, then doing things together as families. Our husbands get along, and so do the children. She also shared a time a few years back when she left for a day, just to escape her home too. The guilt I feel when I have those thoughts has not lessened, but I at least feel as if they may be normal in my circumstances.

I think back to the movie Thelma and Louise, where two friends "escaped" their lives by just driving. I envy the freedom they had(of course, I would never engage in any of the illegal activity!). In the end, Thelma and Louise permanently "checked out" and never went back. I, on the other hand, cannot fathom actually leaving. Even when things are at their worst, there is always hope. Thelma and Louise did not believe that. They thought there was no way out. My storms will pass, and the rainbow will be worth it all.